Saturday 11 October 2014

Lano Plays: WarmaHordes Journeyman League Week 1

Good evening ladies and gentlemen and every pony! 
It is I, and today I have a surprise...
So all my posts recently have been of Everblight and the painting leading up to this journeyman league. Well you see, I visit a place called Dark Sphere and walked out with a lot of new toys... FFS... 

So may I introduce... The NEW battle box, Lord Carver, The Bringer of Most Massive Destruction, Esquire III.
Yes that's his full name and I appreciate you use his full name please.
Accompanying him is his Battle Box, a Warhog, and not ONE BUT TWO stupid Gun Boars... 😒
Stupid things couldn't hit a barn door...
Anyway, a tactica on these Beauties (in the eye of the beholder) will be put up later for you other people to spy and note down. Because I know there are people who will read this and try to gain some advantage!!


Down below, I played with a new iPhone app called WOWfx... Go check it, it makes things pretty...

Now back to the games, and loads of opportunities for Photo porn. My first opponent was Anthony, who has been featured in my blog before. 
Madrak and his Battle Group step forward to begin the carnage!

Both armies line up to run at each other, my Gun Boar "Iron Pig" attempts to let a shot off but comes out short. Under the cover of Lord Carver, The Bringer of Most Massive Destruction, Esquire III's Batten Down The Hatches, the pigs walk up without fear of damage, ARM20/21 is a difficult nut to crack!


Meanwhile, a turn later, Gun Boar "Bang" hits his target but deals a measly 4 Damage. These guys are going to have to do better than this!

"Iron Pig" camps into the Cover, and with the help of Batten Down the Hatchs, he continues to try blast away at the Impaler. He hits 0 times but does deal 1 Damage with a blast, stupid Gun Boars...

The turn after, Lord Carver, The Bringer of Most Massive Destruction, Esquire III urges his minions on, re assuring them of the safety Batten Down the Hatches. 
The War Hog runs into the front line to stop the Impalers from throwing their jungle man spears at him. 

Lord Carver, The Bringer of Most Massive Destruction, Esquire III joins the fight! He pop his feat, and starts to get to work on the Impaler in front of him. Needing 5 to hit, he hits a measly twice out of 6 Attacks!! The fucking Impaler is still standing... It doesn't matter, Iron Pig will deal with them... I thought, well, I believed... But ALAS!! Allah really doesn't like pigs because he too can't hit a fucking thing... Missing his attacks on the 3 damage remaining Left Impaler... Now that has really screwed my plan, I was hoping for the Warhog to get into Madrak and kill him...
I'm going to try take the consolation prize and kill both his Warbeasts off, which means his last beast, the Axer can be easily delt with the next turn... But look, my Warhog takes 4 attacks to kill the Right Impaler, and the one with THREE damage survives 2 attacks... FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE...
This is a shit game...

Needless to say, Madrak popped his feat... Killed everything... 
This is how I imagined it to look like... Because TBH I was fuming at this point...

With Madrak killing both my Warbeasts on the front line, his Axer, brimming with fury ready to be unleashed, charged my remaining Gun Boar... And that's all he wrote...

Starting with a loss, only way is up!! 
Now going on across the board were loads if other games. 
Anthony took on Riot, which was a game of twists and turns.
Epitomised by this scene, a Renegade unleashing his load into the middle of the Trolls. Pun intended.

That game ended with Magnus the Pussy Taitor taking a cheap Shotgun shot at the Impaler, and a random bullet eyeballing Madrak... Sounds silly? Because it was!!

My second game of the evening was against Convergence of Cyriss. The annoying re spawning of Robots and the spinning Spinny Top nature really annoyed me, but I eventually managed to punch through and kill Syntherion.  A great game of trading blows.

That's all for this Blog,

But what did I learn today?
-Carver can't hit things...
-Warhogs can't hit things...
-and Gun Boars aren't Fun Boars!

Goodnight all!

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